Which is the oldest and most recurrent advice offered when you are angry? Obviously the answer would be - Count to 10, before you speak. Simple it may sound, but this age-old advice does work. But when you are angry, it may seem to be the hardest tip of all. With the adrenaline flowing and the blood starting to boil, it takes a real effort of willpower to do it. But do try and try hard, every time. But counting up to 10 before you open your mouth is rarely much good. To 50 is better. Some situations may need even 100!
How does it work?
The familiar childhood reprimand of ‘counting to 10’ before taking action works because it emphasizes the two key elements in anger management – time and distraction. The ‘energy’ of anger often leads to impulsive behavior that only aggravates an already tense situation. If given enough time to cool off, however, most people can learn to control their initial impulses.
This technique of counting to 10 not only provides the time needed for delay but also offers a distraction from the anger-arousing event. While busily counting, we are not mentally adding fuel to the fire of anger by pondering over whatever that has happened.
Counting to 10 becomes an even more effective way of cooling down, if we also take a slow deep breath between each number. Deliberately taking a slow, deep breath not only brings a soothing sense of relaxation, but also helps us to focus our attention in the present moment.
See also:
How does it work?
The familiar childhood reprimand of ‘counting to 10’ before taking action works because it emphasizes the two key elements in anger management – time and distraction. The ‘energy’ of anger often leads to impulsive behavior that only aggravates an already tense situation. If given enough time to cool off, however, most people can learn to control their initial impulses.
This technique of counting to 10 not only provides the time needed for delay but also offers a distraction from the anger-arousing event. While busily counting, we are not mentally adding fuel to the fire of anger by pondering over whatever that has happened.
Counting to 10 becomes an even more effective way of cooling down, if we also take a slow deep breath between each number. Deliberately taking a slow, deep breath not only brings a soothing sense of relaxation, but also helps us to focus our attention in the present moment.
See also:
try breathing deeply for about 20 seconds and focus not on why your mad but ways u could solve the anger and make it better. Get a punching bag and beat the hell out of it. This is called redirection. You can also do push ups till you cant do any more. If you have problems with anger management. Take a tai chi class, or try karate or aikido classes. All 3 have the relaxation techniques that will destroy any anger problems
ReplyDeleteTell yourself that anger is your psyche's way of saying you're tired of being pushed around. A mantra: Assertiveness is fine; aggression (passive or otherwise) is not.
ReplyDeletesing a song inside your head. have a happy song that you know that you can always sing inside your head when you feel anger coming.
ReplyDeletepray for help. try to have more love for others. give service to them and then you will drive the negative feelings out so there's no room for them.
Meditation every night
ReplyDeleteThere's a saying, keep your mouth shut while swimming and when angry. another thing that I do, is to hum a tune either in my head or aloud. It's releasing the pressure or steam. Just like removing the cover off a boiling pot. or percolator!!!! Try meditation and yoga. How about prayers? Talk to somebody about what's causing the anger. Reflect on it. Put it down in writing.
ReplyDelete