June 27, 2015

Pretending To Be An Extrovert Drains Me

Reader's Query

Shruti asks: I'm 16 years old. I have a quiet and unassuming nature. My friends find in me a good listener and a sensitive companion. But I secretly envy the personality of some of my classmates who are exuberant and outgoing, They, in comparison to me, seem to be so full of life. Sometimes, I too force myself to laugh and joke loudly and I pretend to be a big extrovert. But the effort always drains me. I feel like a hypocrite too. I don't enjoy being something which I am not. What do you advise?

introvert shy girl
Dhanya replies:
All of us have a basic character which can be changed only with difficulty. We can, of course, learn several social graces which will make our personalities more pleasant and charming. This we can do only by building on the foundation of our basic intrinsic character.

If we pretend to be different to what we are, we will look and sound artificial, strained and affected. In short, very unpleasant! Being an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of! While it's true that extroverts have a large circle of friends, introverts do have few friends with whom they have close relationships.

Quiet, gentle, persons like you have a very special allure. People love sensitive, sympathetic listeners.
Be more accepting of your personality and love yourself for what you are, for you are a special person too!

When you are at ease with yourself, everything will fall in its place. 

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